My Journey Thus Far

Where do I start?

I lost a lot of weight.  But how did I get to being overweight in the first place?  And how did I get to where I am today?  These are the most common questions I get.  Firstly, I'd like to mention a few background tidbits just to put it all out there.

-As a child, my parents never really encouraged me to eat healthy, like I do now with my own children.  I do not blame my parents for what I came to be.  They loved me, wanted the best for me.  I was encouraged to eat my vegetables and drink water but that was it.
-I come from a Filipino background and typically, white rice is eaten with almost every meal.  We ate a lot of white rice, white bread, white pasta.  Carbs can be good for you, they give you energy.  But I didn't know about proper portions.  Or that whole wheat or whole grain carbs even existed.
-My family was super busy.  Exercise or daily active play was not something I remember being encouraged. My dad was in the Navy and was overseas 6-9 months at a time and my mom worked at a hospital, sometimes working double shifts. Usually, my grandparents watched my brother and I.

I only mention the above because I know a lot of people can relate to growing up this way.  Or perhaps you can even see some commonalities in your life today.  Busy families.  Little to no time to focus on nutrition or exercise.  It remains to be one of my own daily struggles each day.  I can't point out one specific thing that caused me to be overweight but I think it was a collection of reasons.

I was always on the heavier side as a child and because of this, I think that I have struggled with body image issues and self confidence my whole life.  In my teens, my weight fluctuated a lot.  I would go on extreme diets, lose some weight....but then gain it all back and then some.

I remember people telling me that I 'had a pretty face'.  And also, if I would just lose weight, I would be even prettier.  It hurts to think back on these underhandedly negative words. I don't know if people even realized just how much they hurt me by saying it.  There was even a point when people would outright ask me if I was pregnant.  I think most people know to NEVER ask a woman that question even if she's in the delivery room giving birth.  But people asked.  And it hurt.  Most of my life, I let all of those negative comments take over me.  I resigned to thinking that I was that fat girl who had a pretty face.

So, I lived my life that way.  I always had make up on, fixed my hair, had my nails done.  I took great care of my appearances but inside, I was very unhappy.  Also, I felt uncomfortable in my own skin.

In the back of my mind, I knew I was overweight and that I had to do something about it.  But that was all it ever was...just a thought that I didn't do anything about.  I knew that it was going to take HARD WORK and to be completely honest, I was LAZY.  I couldn't find any motivation.  There would be times when I would be really spirited about working out, but that drive would only last a couple of days, sometimes a week.  In my late teens/early 20's, my eating habits were the worst.  Almost every meal was fast food.  I had chips for snacks.  Ice cream for dessert, almost daily.  Can anyone relate?  Just me?  Ok.

There were a few times sometime in my mid 20's that I remember being somewhat active, being on a softball team with my husband (then boyfriend!); we would also go to the gym together 2-3x/week for some cardio. This lasted a few months and I did lose weight but ultimately gained it all back because our terrible eating habits hadn't changed.  There was also another time when I lost 20 lbs. after working with a personal trainer.  After awhile, having a personal trainer was difficult to budget but it didn't matter anyway because I still wasn't eating right.  I gained back the 20 lbs. and then some.  These are just a couple of examples of how my weight fluctuated greatly.  Below are more background details that contributed to further weight gain....

-I had my first daughter in 2005.  I had my second daughter in 2010.  They both brought me so much joy.  Having two young children, 5 and under, left me little time to focus on anything else though so watching what I ate or working out wasn't something I really set out to do.  I know a lot of you mamas get this.  I won't elaborate.
-After working for the same employer for almost TEN years, I was let go.  I was jobless.
-One month before I was let go, my little family had just purchased a our first new home.  With a brand spanking new mortgage!

The above definitely put a lot of stress on me and I remember reaching for food a lot for comfort.  It was this time that I feel that I hit my rock bottom, my weight was at the heaviest.

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